Thursday, January 19, 2012
Not Feel Good
There are many bad thing happen to me and I would like to share one of these bad things When i was in my high school days i was a kind of student who easy go lucky and don't study seriously but i changed now =). One of these bad experience is happen when i was in high school. One morning i feel so sick I'm my first class is 6 AM and i was so weak and sleepy. When I enter my class room
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1. You started your narration fairly well. However, you were only able to write the introductory part of your whole essay. In fact, the last sentence was not finished.
ReplyDelete2. Some grammar points:
"many bad 'thing' happen to me" = many bad things that happened to me
"One of these bad experience is happen" = One of these bad experiences happened
"One morning i feel so sick" = One morning I felt so sick
3. You may divide the first sentence into shorter sentences. Please use the punctuation marks (e.g. period) appropriately.
Rating:
a. Introduction - 3
b. Content - 7
c. Conclusion - 1
d. Diction - 2
e. Coherence - 2
f. Spelling - 3
g. Mechanics and grammar - 5
h. Legibility - 4
Total: 27/60
Notes:
ReplyDelete> There are many bad thing happen to me
It is better to say: There are many bad things that happened to me
> When i was in my high school days i was a kind
Say: When I was in high school. . .
Rating:
a. Introduction - 3
b. Content - 6
c. Conclusion - 2
d. Diction - 2
e. Coherence - 2
f. Spelling - 3
g. Mechanics and grammar - 4
h. Legibility - 3
Total: 25/60